One Simple Framework We All Need in Our Well-being Journey.

Mental health, self-help books, spiritual and esoteric practices, mindfulness and so much more — the concept of well-being lives under so many names and now is more visible than ever. Mental and holistic well-being is not only a hot topic, but it is also an important one — the pandemic has changed the sense of safety and our perception of certainty, and for me, it gave me enough time to dive deep into the actual science behind the notion of well-being.

What is well being to you? A question that comes my way quite often, has me confused almost all the time. Are we talking about mindfulness, spirituality, my health or happiness? I am sure I am not the only one who sees well-being as a very broad concept, that has a lot of various elements that it entails, and everybody approaches the answer to this question differently. While there is no one way to improve our overall happiness and well-being, with this inquiry, I want to share how I went from being completely lost in the possibilities of well-being to having a clear direction, and actually putting my knowledge to practice with one framework backed by the early pioneers of well-being.

I have been into self-help books, mental health, spirituality, holistic well-being, stoicism, habits — you name it — for a while now, and whilst they are clearly a part of the concept of well-being, I still lacked direction to make my knowledge and information available work for me rather than against me. To be honest, even google did not help guide me in the right direction as it describes well-being as a ‘state of being comfortable, healthy or happy’. I was overwhelmed until I came across an online course called Positive Psychology, curated and lead by the creator of the branch of Positive Psychology himself — Martin Seligman.

Positive Psychology a.k.a. Well-Being before it was cool.

Author, psychologist and a professor at the University of Pennsylvania — Martin Seligman, otherwise often called ‘Marty’ by his colleagues, has been into well-being way before it was a hot topic. Early on in his career, he noticed that 20th-century psychology has been focusing only on diagnosing and treating mental illnesses rather than concentrating on learning what makes people flourish and increase their sense of happiness. This is where ‘Marty’ saw the need to create a direction of psychology which emerged in 1998 as ‘Positive Psychology’. This name sparked my curiosity and one day in 2020, having more time than ever in my life, I chose to take on a Positive Psychology course, which lead me to learn about the PERMA theory of well-being by Martin Seligman.

PERMA Theory of Well-Being by Martin Seligman.

Now I am not the biggest fan of theories and putting things into rigid boxes, but Perma is more of a direction, suggestion and guidance in the very broad and abstract world of well-being. Published in 2011 in Martin Seligman’s book Flourish, Perma theory of Well-being is an attempt to answer questions like ‘what enables human flourishing?’, ‘what does well-being entail?’, ‘where can I concentrate to increase my well-being?’ And most of all ‘where do I start?’.

PERMA theory’s name is an abbreviation of the five building blocks it entails — P for Positive Emotions, E for Engagement, R for Relationships, M for Meaning and A for Achievement. It is important to mention that each of these pillars differ in importance in each person’s life. Perma is truly a tool of self-awareness and measurement, which can lead to a clear idea of what you can concentrate on to flourish in your life.

P for Positive Emotions

Quite self-evident isn’t it? While we all know that positive emotions can only increase our overall well-being, we are all human and feel a wide range of different emotions every single day. While experiencing positive emotions can seem to only come naturally, we can also intentionally create more positive emotions in our lives and use the ones that occur naturally to extract the most of them. Here are at least some of the ways to increase positive emotions in our lives.

• Start a gratitude journal and write at least 3 things every morning or night you are grateful for.
• At the end of the day write 3 things that went right during your day. This is a scientifically proven method to boost optimism by the Positive Psychology researchers at the University of Pennsylvania.
• Change the ‘I have to do this’ to ‘I get to do this’.
• Cultivate forgiveness to people who you feel hurt by, by understanding that people do their best with what they know and nobody is perfect.

E for Engagement

Don’t you just love the feeling when you are doing something and get fully immersed in it and time just stops? This is what Martin Seligman summarizes in the Engagement part of the theory which other famous psychology researcher Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi called ‘Flow’. Flow or engagement occurs when our skills are just sufficient to complete a challenging activity, we are fully absorbed in the moment and when the perception of self, time and space is distorted. Flow can be experienced naturally, however it can as well be cultivated on demand. Here are some of the activities that drive Engagement in life.

• Find a topic you are passionate about and start a conversation with somebody who might know just a little more about the topic than yourself.
• Learn something new — e.g. playing an instrument, playing sports.
• Reading a great book and being fully immersed in it is one of the ways engagement shows up in our lives as well.
• Fixing bikes, building furniture can also be some of the examples of activities that enable the flow.

R for Relationships

Humans are social animals and even if you may be on the introverted side, everybody needs a connection with another human being from time to time. Relationships are not only known to amplify all the experiences in our lives, but they are also a countermeasure against negative experiences. Looking at human evolution, we are made to socialize to survive. Here are some ways to create more connection and boost your relationships:

• Acts of kindness — Research shows that doing acts of kindness for others produces an increase in well-being.
• Connection — connect with others through the topics you are passionate about, find groups on Facebook or approach a person whose content you like on Instagram — no matter the medium, social interaction increases our sense of self and well-being.
• Curiosity/inquiry — become curious about others and try to learn as much as possible through listening to others answers — it may surprise you how much we can learn from others if we truly listen to what they say.

M for meaning

We can have all we need, but something might be missing. That special something is bigger than the self — that special something is meaning or purpose in life. Having a direction in life, that serves a bigger purpose is something that can be especially rewarding with feelings of satisfaction and adding meaning to your life could look something like this:

• Join a community that believes in the change you want to make.
• Devote yourself to a social cause for example being more sustainable in your everyday life
• Share information and knowledge with people who need it, like helping refugees, ex-pats and people from minorities.
• Politics, justice, community, religion, just to name a few other meaning for life that one can believe in.

A for Accomplishment

While we all know that process is the main part of achieving something — success, mastery and getting to one’s goal truly serves as fuel and motivation to go further. A sense of accomplishment gives us a feeling of confidence and trust that we are completely capable of completing the bigger tasks in life.

• Planning and completing those plans — no matter how small they are.
• Finishing something you have started — a course, training, a project.
• Mastering something you are passionate about and getting feedback about it.
• Doing something with immediate, practical results — crafts, like creating jewellery, ceramics, painting.

While we all are on our Well-Being journey in one way or another, it is the intention behind our actions that puts us on another level. While there is no right or wrong way to intentionally stir your life into the direction of authenticity, clarity, happiness and overall flourishing, the theories and scientific information can only guide us to find that special thing that is needed in our lives to be the best version of ourselves.

I hope this gave you some food for thought and guidance in your own personal well-being journey. You may trust your own observations in your life and your intuition to see which of the PERMA pillars you can focus on, however, there is a tool created by Martin Seligman and colleagues, that can help you measure each pillar in your life — you can find it under ‘Flourishing Questionnaires’ PERMA test here — https://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/testcenter

With Love,

Laura